STARRING: Luke Evans, Sarah Gadon, Dominic Cooper.
DIRECTED BY: Gary Shore
SYNOPSIS: The untold story of how Dracula became one of the most feared monsters in history.
I was reasonably excited for Dracula Untold. I was in the mood for a good monster movie with a nice amount of blood and gore (which I was promised by its 15 rating). Let me just say right off the bat that I was severely disappointed. Dracula Untold is by far one of the worst movies I’ve seen all year, if not the worst. Now let me tell you why.
That blood and gore I was telling you about? Wasn’t there. Why this film was a 15 is beyond me. Just as we were getting to the main battle scene and Dracula was running towards the army, reading to rip all their heads off, the camera started to shake uncontrollably so you couldn’t see any of it. All there was was a blur of colour on the screen. A lot of action movies these days use an annoying amount of shaky cam to cover up poor stunt work, and Dracula Untold was far from an exception.
A lot of the movie, especially at the end, made no sense at all. I was left thinking, why did he do that? And why did that happen? I have no idea.
To their credit, the actors weren’t terrible. They gave it their best shot, but there really wasn’t a lot they could have done to make such an awful movie better.
Next to the 15 certificate at the beginning of the movie, it said contains strong horror. There was no horror. There were a couple of jumpscares where some bats flew out of a cave suddenly or you saw a skull, but to call them jumpscares is a stretch, as I didn’t even jump. If you’re going to call it horror, then please actually make it scary.
Then there came the biggest face palm of the evening. I can’t tell you what it is as that’s a spoiler, but I’ll explain as best I can. Toward the end of the movie something dramatic happened. It was quite obvious it was going to happen as they’d set it up from the beginning, but the way they did it was so utterly implausible. It happened in a way that is so ridiculously against the laws of physics, that could never physically ever happen in real life, I was laughing. In the dramatic part that was supposed to make you emotional, I was laughing.
And that brings me to my final point. That thing happened to give a dramatic effect, and to make you feel for the characters. This is a movie about Dracula, where you want action, violence and horror. It felt more like a family drama. You can throw in some of this emotional stuff here and there and I’m fine with it, but this movie did not know what it was. It was trying so hard to make you cry, it almost felt like that was more of a focus than the actual Dracula fun and action. It’s Dracula for heavens sake, all I want is to see him bite some necks, and they barely even gave me that.
Ok, well rant over. Any good points? Well I liked the design of the older vampire and that whole scene was alright. Nothing else though. This movie was simply terrible. Don’t waste your money on it. I’m going to give it 30/100, because maybe a small group of people could enjoy it. Maybe…